Image of sexpert Chris Hart
E. del Rosso

Help! My gf is avoiding me

A few weeks ago, my girlfriend stop picking my calls and also stop replying to messages. I have tried to see her but all she would say is that she's busy. Help!

I have called using someone else's number but when she picks up and she hears my voice, she cuts off the phone. I told my mom about this, so my mom went to her house to find out if I have offended her, but she said I did not do anything to her. I love her so much with my heart, I have tried and tried everything. I don't know what to do, I tried to forget her but it's getting very difficult.

Chris says:

It’s always difficult when a relationship comes to an end. Which sadly, this one has. It’s a little cowardly of your (ex-)girlfriend to cut all contact like that, but I’m afraid that’s becoming all too common these days. Instead of ending the relationship face to face, people increasingly just stop communicating.

I’m not sure why that trend started, but it probably has something to do with the fact that it’s a lot easier to communicate these days and we’re in contact a lot more than we were, especially over the phone and internet.
So when a relationship ends it’s much harder to wind down the communications. Often the conversations get unpleasant – pleading, recriminations, and arguments. As a result, many people take the ‘easy way out’ and cut off everything.

So what should you do?

Learn to accept

Well first, you must respect and accept her decision. If you keep chasing after her, you’ll start to look ridiculous and needy. And eventually, your attention will cross the line into harassment. It’s better, believe me, to let her go with your dignity intact.

I know that’s difficult: your feelings for her are intense. I know you’re endlessly thinking about her, and wondering why she ended things. Accept that those feelings and thoughts are natural. But they will go away. Slowly. It could take months, but one day you’ll realise you’re just not thinking about her anymore.

Don’t worry about why she left. It probably has got nothing to do with you. Maybe she’s just changing her interests or focus in life – like thinking about studying harder or looking for a better job.
If you are aware that perhaps you didn’t treat her very well – like not spending enough time with her, drinking too much, or not being entirely faithful – then think about how you can behave better with your next girl.

Moving on

Because there will be one. In fact, it’s important you go out looking for one! Don’t sit around at home moping and feeling sorry for yourself. Go out with your mates. Keep busy, work or study hard.
And talk nicely to every girl you meet. Don’t desperately hope that every girl will want to go out with you, just enjoy their company and be interested in their lives and opinions.
And one day soon, you’ll realise that one of them is developing an interest in you. And instantly, you’ll be happy again!


What are your remedies to get over a break-up? Share them in the comments or join the discussion on Facebook.

Comments
Add new comment

Comment

  • Allowed HTML tags: <a href hreflang>