Cartoon image of relationship expert Chris Hart
E. del Rosso

What women want

What is the main thing that women look for in men before settling down for marriage or a serious relationship?

For a quick fling, today’s young, educated, career woman really just wants eye candy! Someone good looking, plenty of attitude – even the classic ‘bad guy’.
Because bad is exciting! Full of drama and attitude. Fun. Spontaneous. Sexy. A relationship filled with adrenaline, excitement, romance, and passion.

She wants a guy with a high sex drive – and the experience and skills to seduce her! She wants the stuff of movie heroes, and simply loads of masculinity.

So she looks for a man who’s appearance signals high testosterone levels: heavier bones, muscles, more macho face, and the classic ‘tough guy’ shape.
And all the behaviour that goes with it – most of it terrible! He’s dominant, competitive, flash, with male written all over him – and a tendency towards risky behaviour. Everything from violent crime to fast driving.

Few women will admit to any of this, and anyway, much of it’s subconscious. But it all makes sense, because such men are tons of fun.
But much less likely to marry, more likely to divorce if they do tie the knot, more likely to have affairs, less likely to help raise their children, more likely to treat women badly, and to hit their wives.

So the moment a woman starts to think about a permanent relationship, everything changes.

I hate to sound cynical, but the most important thing a woman looks for in a husband is success and social status!

Because now she wants a provider. Of course she does, because her children will have a much better start in life if there’s plenty of money around. So now she checks how he’s getting on in the world.

She wants a man who uses money well, and will share it with her. So she goes looking for signs that he’ll be responsible, caring and supportive.

And likes children!

She wants a man with good friends, because that suggests he’ll be capable of real intimacy. Similar to her in background, lifestyle, and looks. Sharing similar beliefs about politics, religion, and so on. Because all that leads to a more stable relationship.

She wants a man who’s not too attached to his mother, to minimise mother-in-law problems. He should have no history of playing the field, or being unfaithful to his previous girlfriends.
A good human being. Someone who’s willing to forgive. Who tells the truth. Who’s decisive and willing to commit.
And that all makes complete sense too, doesn’t it?


What are you looking for in a life-partner? Share your thoughts below or on Facebook. For all questions, issues, and concerns head to our forum.

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