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E. del Rosso

Who is Mr Right?

After we both cheated, my boyfriend threatened to kill me. Now he says that he wants me back. I'm totally confused!

I moved in with the guy I cheated with, but then my ex sent my nudes to friends and even posted them on social media. Later he texted apologising for his actions saying they were driven by love and that he still wants to be with me. I know I love him too, what should I do?

I do understand when you say you still love your boyfriend. After all, when you date someone for two years, it creates a bond that’s not easily broken. But probably that feeling of still being in love with your boyfriend is not as real as you think.

Perhaps you’re feeling that way because you’ve not really moved on with your new partner? Although you’re currently living with him, it sounds like you moved in more because you felt you had to – because of your boyfriend’s threats – rather than because you had established a really good relationship together.

Your current relationship also started for the wrong reasons. Not because you wanted to start a serious relationship together, but because you wanted revenge against your boyfriend for cheating on you!

All that is quite understandable, but it makes me think you probably aren’t really happy with your new partner, for one reason or another. And that’s why you wish you could be back with your boyfriend.
But the relationship you once had with your boyfriend is gone, isn’t it? Back before he cheated on you, everything felt good. But since then you’ve seen a side of his character that suggests getting back with him wouldn’t work out well at all.

Not only did he cheat on you – and not being able to be together as often as he wanted is no excuse – but his behaviour after you fell out sounds very bad indeed.

Threatening to kill you isn’t some sort of romantic gesture, it’s a criminal act.

And one that suggests that you and he might have a very bad time in future. Imagine him making threats of violence like that – or carrying them out – any time you two fall out. And arguments are inevitable sooner or later in every relationship.
Posting your private photos on social media and sending them to friends, also suggests he doesn’t have the right values to be a good long-term partner.
So I don’t think you should get back together with your boyfriend. Because love is not enough. You also need a partner with the right values and behaviour. And there’s a big question mark over his.

You don’t sound completely happy with your current partner either.
So probably the best thing is to firmly end both relationships, and move on. Somewhere out there is Mr Right. Someone you can really love. Go and find him!


What would you do in this situation? Go back, stay, or leave both of them? Leave a comment below or on Facebook.

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