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Is it okay for women to talk about sex?

Don't you feel uncomfortable talking about sex, as a woman? This feels so awkward! How and when do you get started? Help, please!

'Oh my dear – you have tugged at my heartstrings, you know! What a wonderful question.'

A few good men and women

Frankly, I tell you, dear, I don’t even recall when I began to talk so much about sex. But it felt like moving from ’prude' to ‘badass’! And I am very proud of it.

And do you know one thing? I was able to do all this ‘sexy’ and taboo work because I had the support of first my father – a man, who was never scared what the neighbours will say about what his daughter does.

And then I had an aunty, who understood how important it was to talk about sex and told me about it.
Even though many of my pals couldn’t talk about sex in the open themselves, our long night chats on the issue helped. Naughtier the chats, deeper the friendships, let me tell you!

Yay to sex

Women’s groups and feminists have claimed many a fight, many a discussion, raised many banners on many issues.  But girl, have you ever shouted out, ‘Women love it, too’, ‘Sex is on my mind’, ‘A good girl wants good sex’,  ‘Each day – sex day’? We all should

Women and their sexual pleasure have been kept out of conversations about our well-being for far too long now. Talking about sex is okay and a right women need to claim. And that, my dear, is the motto I live by every day of my life!

Bad reputation

Traditionally we are a society who has always loved and celebrated sex. Women, men, others were revered as partners to the joyful experience of consensual sex. But talking about sex suddenly became this ‘dirty’ thing – looked down upon.

Talking and asking about sex got a bad reputation due to which all conversations around it stopped and went undercover. Yes, believe it or not. A lot of the conservatism in our society came with the colonialists.

People of all genders forgot how to seek help, information, and awareness on the sex issue.

All that was available is fragmented, sensational bits and pieces of information which completely besmirched the wholehearted approach to sex! But we can stop that!

Salute to sex!

My sister, talking freely about sex and claiming good, equal, and safe sex is no dirty thing. It’s wonderful and intimate and also an assertion of your identity. But: there are ethics of sex too! That we all must be aware of. The key is consent.

Partners need to agree on the rules that bind them. Everyone ought to be allowed to make their own choices and decisions around sex – when they want it with whom, how many times, where, and how! This is for the actors of sex to decide – not anyone else!


How do you start talking about sex? Share your tips below or on Facebook.


 

 

Comments

Hi Onyango, A good place to begin is to talk about sex. If she does orgasm or ejaculate even if you didn't notice it, she can tell you that she did. The other way is that, you maybe able to see the fluids she produced during the ejaculation. Check out this article for more information;- https://lovematters.co.ke/our-bodies/female-body/love-juice-the-story-of-female-ejaculation

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