Valentine, on-call
Alphonce Omondi

Is it okay to watch porn in a relationship?

‘I’m in a relationship – is watching porn okay?’ Valentine answers: ‘Great question. Difficult question. And there is no easy answer.’

Many uses of porn

Some people find porn a useful tool as they are developing their lovemaking skills. Others wonder why their partner is turned on by animalistic sex that lacks intimacy and joy. Some couples watch it together and find that it brings novelty to their sex life.

Many opinions

Ultimately what matters is how you and your partner feel about it. Your partner may feel that by watching porn, you are implying that they are not enough. It may provoke jealousy in a partner who wants to be involved in all aspects of your sex life. It may also make your partner feel inadequate especially if you rave about the porn star’s skills or looks.  

Strangers in your bedroom

Also, your partner may feel cheated on.

By bringing porn into your bedroom you are bringing strangers into your sex life and they will have an impact.

If you opened your curtains and let your askari watch you and your partner having sex, his presence alone would change the dynamics of that sexual interaction. The presence of porn and porn stars will have an impact.

Open conversation

Allow your partner to express their feelings openly and then explain why you would want porn to be a part of your sex life, then decide together. There is no right or wrong answer.
 

What do you think about porn in the bedroom: taboo or useful tool? Leave a comment or join the discussion on our Facebook pages Love Matters Naija and Kenya.

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Recent Comments (20)

  1. Porn in the bedroom or
    Porn in the bedroom or anywhere for that matter is wrong. The difference between Love and Lust is very confusing, so every time an individual watches porn they are feeding their lust and it will definitely affect the relationship because you’ll always crave for more and more. Whether Married or not break the habit.

  2. i dont see anything wrong
    i dont see anything wrong with watching when there is an agreement btw both partners.

    1. Hi Denis, we agree- as long
      Hi Denis, we agree- as long as both partners are really fine with it, it’s all good!

  3. I think its ok if both have
    I think its ok if both have angread

    1. Hi Kush2,

      Hi Kush2,
      thanks for your comment!
      And yes, that’s probably the best approach, we agree!

  4. if both agree together are
    if both agree together are see it as no problem.

    1. Hi John,

      Hi John,
      we agree. If both are okay with it, why not?

  5. What if one watches it while
    What if one watches it while alone before meeting the patner for mating? is there a prob with that?

    1. Hi Tom,

      Hi Tom,
      that is up to you to decide. If you think it’s okay, it is. If you think it isn’t, then for you, it isn’t. There is no right or wrong in this question, it’s all a matter of what makes most sense to you!

  6. As long there’s an agreement
    As long there’s an agreement no problem

    1. We agree, Jackson, as long as
      We agree, Jackson, as long as both partners know and are okay with it, it’s okay!

  7. if both feel comfortable then
    if both feel comfortable then it is fine

    1. Indeed! But it’s important to
      Indeed! But it’s important to talk to your partner.

  8. I watch porn everydai is that
    I watch porn everydai is that a problem to life time

    1. GG,

      GG,
      well, it depends. As long as you realize that sex in porn isn’t real, and it shouldn’t shape your expectations towards sex, and you can still go without porn, that’s fine!

  9. watching porn is total lust
    watching porn is total lust and wc is actually dangerous in a relationship.

    1. Thanks for your input Inno.
      Thanks for your input Inno.

  10. Porn is useful because in…
    Porn is useful because in some relationships partners differ in terms of sexual desire. Sexual desire for some just means getting on and off and for some it means a world of diversity to express your sexuality from intercourse, orals, masturbation, fetishes and yes porn among many. Porn is just sexual entertainment just like Hollywood movies would be just that they play an additional role of driving your sexual desire and allow you to execute better sexual diversity which in simple terms is just spice to life.

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