Valentine, on-call
Alphonce Omondi

‘Excess sperm’, my foot

A friend (17) has been dating a guy (26); they are both virgins. Now he wants her to help him discharge all his excess sperm with sex. He has promised marriage.

So you are wondering whether this 17-year-old ‘friend’ should agree to have this man use her body as a receptacle for his ‘accumulated sperm’.

Boys start producing sperm from about age 12 or 13.

Assuming that this man is telling the truth and he is a virgin, then your friend is about to receive about 13 years’ worth of sperm. Where would it go? What would she do with it?

This man is lying to her and I suspect he chose her because she is much younger than him.

Statutory rape

Women’s bodies are not receptacles for excess sperm. If your friend isn’t ready to have sex with this man, or any man for that matter, she should wait and let any boyfriend know what her plan is.

She might also consider dating boys her own age because she will find that they are easier to deal with. At 17, she is not an adult.

But her boyfriend, who has been an adult for eight years, would be committing statutory rape if he had sex with her.

And: there is no such thing as excess sperm. Instead, men’s bodies were created with two systems to get rid of old, or rather unused, sperm.
The first is the drip-method where sperm is transferred into the urethra and expelled the next time the man urinates. Men also have wet dreams where they ejaculate.

Test his commitment

This horny man is simply trying to manipulate this naïve girl into having sex with him before marriage. It is highly unlikely that he is a virgin or has any intention of marrying your friend.

If she really likes him and wants to weigh his commitment, she should ask him to wait until she finishes high school (and becomes a legal adult) and then they can revisit the issue. He will probably lose interest and move on to the next child that he can lie to. Shame on him!

Excess sperm, my foot! Mschew!


Have you caught your man lying to you in the name of having sex? Leave a comment below, on our forum, or join the discussion on Facebook. You can find us at Love Matters Naija and Kenya.

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Recent Comments (55)

  1. The guy want 2 manipulate her
    The guy want 2 manipulate her 2 hv sex then dump her after fulfiling his desire,shame on him nkt

    1. Thanks for sharing your
      Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Augustine.

  2. the gal is big enough to know
    the gal is big enough to know wat is gud n bad……….

    1. Sometimes, we all need a
      Sometimes, we all need a little help answering the questions that bother us.

  3. Shame on him…..this guy is
    Shame on him…..this guy is displaying his primitivity….thats just trying to be opportunistic…..let her turn down the offer right away…

    1. Thanks for your input, Nick!
      Thanks for your input, Nick!

  4. I really don’t understand how
    I really don’t understand how a 26year old virgin boy asking a 17year old for sex first of all she’s underage then for christ sake his virgin I wouldn’t go for that…… Ts a total waste of my virginity

  5. I really don’t understand how
    I really don’t understand how a 26year old virgin boy asking a 17year old for sex first of all she’s underage then for christ sake his virgin I wouldn’t go for that…… Ts a total waste of my virginity

    1. Thanks for your input, Hilda!
      Thanks for your input, Hilda!

  6. Is it in order to say ” Men
    Is it in order to say ” Men also have wet dreams when they ejaculate.” or it should be “Men also ejaculate when they have wet dreams”
    Otherwise, the man is just not realistic to the girl. He wants to unlock the virginity and then disappear.

    1. Mighy,

      Mighy,
      I think what Valentine means is that men have wet dreams, and at that point in time they ejaculate. But it is indeed phrased a bit awkwardly.

  7. I dont see problem wit dat,
    I dont see problem wit dat, why dd dat chik had 2 fall 4 much older guy, sh s aware let ha give da guy what he wants

    1. Hi Eric,

      Hi Eric,
      thanks for your comment. Why do you think she should give him what he asks for, why can’t he give her what she asks for?

  8. i do’nt thnk ao xuch boy can
    i do’nt thnk ao xuch boy can b a virgin ad he ix askng 4 confirmission of au virgin shame on him .he juxt ready 2 waste ua virginity den xhe leave alone .Eti sperm full in de legx.? tell hm 2 die of sperm

    1. Thanks for your comment,
      Thanks for your comment, Morri.

  9. if its fine with the girl its
    if its fine with the girl its okay.

    1. Shouldn’t she know that he is
      Shouldn’t she know that he is not using the truth to get her to do it?

  10. That guy is uneducated and
    That guy is uneducated and stupid.
    And from his stupid lies, he’s no virgin.
    He’s a raper.
    He’s just one of those guys who don’t know how to lure mature ladies into their bedroom then go for small kids to abuse them.
    She’s not the first and I sugest she should not cover for him.

    1. Thank you very much for your
      Thank you very much for your input.

  11. Since Wen Did Gals Mch More
    Since Wen Did Gals Mch More Uderage Bcame Sperm Dustbins.Tel Him Kama Amechoka Nazo Let Him Musturbate.Period.Dnt Acpt 2 Lose Ur Virginity 2 Dat Cheap Guy.

    1. Thanks for your input Jim.
      Thanks for your input Jim.

  12. dat man z jst heartless f u
    dat man z jst heartless f u carry out investigatns he may b having achild en he kolz himself virgin wat ashame!

    1. Thanks for sharing your
      Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

  13. dat guy z heartles jst dat
    dat guy z heartles jst dat one z almost his daughter en hez askg 4 sex 4rm her,she shdnt agree let him mesturbate f xo

    1. Thank for your input Raphael.
      Thank for your input Raphael.

  14. Girls should understand that
    Girls should understand that men who stoop are stupid and have weak minds. they just want to use underage girls cos “they are easy to convince and confuse” infact their motive isn’t true love but using you as “sex objects” i would advise my young sister to focus on education first and avoid that fake mind! sincerely speaking at only 17 “you are not ripe” so wait atleast up to 18 as you hope for a great love!

    1. Thank you Benard for your
      Thank you Benard for your input and sharing your thoughts.

  15. Dat guy is very stupid he jz
    Dat guy is very stupid he jz want to misuse de lyf of DAT child he shld w8 until da gal matures if he truly loves her if nt so ajipe shughuli shame on him

    1. Thank you Ann for sharing
      Thank you Ann for sharing your thoughts.

  16. That guy is bad news. That
    That guy is bad news. That girl should probably stay away from him

    1. Thanks for your input Cassie.
      Thanks for your input Cassie.

  17. How can he be virgin yet he
    How can he be virgin yet he has been having sex with that lady

    1. Hi Kennedy, one cannot be a
      Hi Kennedy, one cannot be a virgin if they are having sex.

  18. That guy should style up and
    That guy should style up and mature enough…..he should be focusing on business ideas and leave the lady alone…nkt

    1. Thanks for your input kipsos.
      Thanks for your input kipsos.

  19. That guy is just selfish, a
    That guy is just selfish, a control freak and above all a narcissist.

    1. Thanks Stephen for sharing
      Thanks Stephen for sharing your thoughts.

  20. That Guy Had Problem Lk Mine
    That Guy Had Problem Lk Mine So I Want U Advice From U Guy

    1. Hi Suzan, what do you want
      Hi Suzan, what do you want advice on specifically?

  21. No way that the man can be a
    No way that the man can be a virgin yet he has been havingg wet dreamx

    1. Hi Abdy,

      Hi Abdy,
      Having wet dreams doe not mean one has had sex. Boys as young as 13 years have wet dreams and yet have never had sex.

  22. dnt u ever talk to dat guy
    dnt u ever talk to dat guy again cos u hv aprecious tig my dia so keep it til de ryt tym

  23. My sister you are not a sperm
    My sister you are not a sperm dustben, if he want to relief himself he should visit brothel

    1. (No subject)
      …or consider developing a committed relationship. Thank you though, Nathypikin.

  24. How do you know if sperm is…
    How do you know if sperm is fertile?

  25. Can a 13 year boy…
    Can a 13 year boy impregnante a girl the same age?

  26. Ever since I gave birth my…
    Ever since I gave birth my desire for sex just died, my husband is very frustrated by this and I don’t what to do to get it back….help!

    1. Hey Diana, sex after child…

      Hey Diana, sex after child birth is expected to be different and one of the changes is likely to be in terms of desire or libido. It helps to talk with your husband, it is important that he gets to know what is going on and how you are feeling. This will help you both find what works ensuring that you both get back to enjoying sex. Have a look at the following article for more tips;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/pregnancy/sex-after-pregnancy-top-five-facts

  27. What happens when a man…
    What happens when a man ejaculates soon after you start sex?

    1. Hi Eli, this means that one…

      Hi Eli, this means that one is experiencing premature ejaculation which maybe caused by psychological issues such as fear, stress or anxiety. In other cases, especially for young men, it is caused by sexual inexperience. As one gains more experience they also become better in controlling their ejaculation. Have a look at the following article for additional tips toward better control of ones ejaculations;- https://lovemattersafrica.com/making-love/sex-problems-how-to-overcome-them/how-to-overcome-premature-ejaculation

  28. How do you know if your…
    How do you know if your sperm is healthy and fertile?

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