Suitable for 18+

Is sex supposed to be painful?

Does sex have to be painful?
Sex might hurt the first time, and it might not. But what does it mean if sex remains painful, even when you’re comfortable with your partner? Maybe your body is trying to tell you something.

When sex hurts, it could be something as simple as a certain move that turns you off. Or something more complicated as you not really liking the person you are having sex with. Sex, especially the first few times, can be stressful, and women particularly tend to get lost in their heads a bit when trying to have a healthy, personal and fulfilling sexual experience.

Just for the record, if you feel uncomfortable, it is okay to stop and say no. The person you are with should respect this. If you need time, then take all the time you need. Otherwise you are only taking away from what should be a positive and pleasurable experience. Have sex when YOU are ready – and not on someone else’s timeline.

But what are the cases in which the pain means something more serious?

1.     A large penis can sometimes cause pain. The vagina does expand to accommodate, but can only stretch so far. However, using lube or trying different positions can usually solve such a situation.

2.     Another culprit for painful sex is endometriosis, which is “a condition resulting from the appearance of endometrial tissue outside the uterus and causing pelvic pain”. When your period is especially painful for a long time, you should get checked, just in case it is more than simple cramping.

3.     Not enough foreplay! Nothing is set if nothing is wet, to put it in plain talk. When a woman is not sufficiently lubricated, sex is painful and unpleasant for everyone involved. Take some time to get in the mood, and make sure she is there too.

You deserve to enjoy sex too!

These are just a few examples of what causes painful sex. If you feel pain during sex, you should definitely go and see your gynaecologist, who is well qualified to help you. And don’t worry: many women go through the same thing, even though sometimes they are scared to talk about their pain because they are worried of what people might think. But look at it this way: your gynae is here to help you and the only people who will know are you and your gynae.

Pain is your body’s way of telling you something is wrong. So don’t ignore it, even if your partner is having a good time and you don’t want to cut short their fun. You deserve to enjoy sex too!