From hunted to hunter: the rise of the Sugar Mummies
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The rise of the Sugar Mummies

I was chatting with my mother about a cousin I hadn’t seen in while. I asked where he was. “He is being kept by some older woman,” she answered in an unpleasant tone.

I froze.

I guess my ill reaction came from my self-righteous “I should have known” attitude. A few days earlier someone told me that their former boss, who is probably in her mid-50s, is dating a 19-year-old boy.

Fresh bait

I have heard of female politicians gallivanting with ‘fresh bait’ from campus. And most of the women who are rumoured, or known, to do this are either unhappily married or divorced. Or so I have observed.

Sugar Daddies are old news – old men luring young girls with the idea “to exchange favours”. Heck, I even went through such a stage. When I was 16, I remember being hit on by a 47-year-old divorcee.

Not so sweet

I also used to get treats from another man, I’m ashamed to admit. Of course I knew better. And I did get very fed up that this old fart did not understand that I was still a child – I was 11 for crying out loud! I did not care for his advances. I made that very clear and even yelled it in front of other adults.

But he believed in his misplaced sense of pursuit. Since he ran a shop I thought the best way to get back at this love-struck adult was to bring my friends over and milk his shop of all its sweets and treats. I was smart enough to never visit alone.

Still, it was not the smartest thing that I’ve ever done. So what I am getting at? A lot of women can admit to having had lewd man hitting on them when they were young. But this role reversal of unhappy middle-aged women keeping up little boys just breaks my heart.

Grow up 

The whole Sugar Mummy/Sugar Daddy thing is sad. I live in a society where men have refused to grow up. Yes, some were emasculated by women. But we are now raising a generation of boys who think they can still make the most out of life without taking any responsibility.

Where is Kenya really going?  And this is not simply a city or urban problem. Men are doing it in the village. I have an uncle who literally inherits young widows (but let’s leave this whole story of wife inheritance for another day). He latches on to these women hoping he can milk them of their late husband’s wealth.

The prospect of a generation of men being raised without any sense to provide, protect and pursue scares me. Not that I am a fan of the generation of gold-digging women. But sometimes I wish I was born in my parents’ generation when gender roles were a bit more clear and there was a sense of responsibility and mutual respect between the sexes. Or so it was in at least some communities…


Sugar Daddies are old news. Is the rise of Sugar Mummies good news or bad news? Share your thoughts below or join the discussion on Facebook.

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