When you're aroused:
- You get an erection – your penis goes hard and gets bigger
- A clear fluid called pre-ejaculate comes out of the end of your penis
- Your breathing speeds up and you may even make noises
- Your pupils (the dark centre in your eyes) get bigger
Arousal often leads to an orgasm.
What happens when a man has an orgasm?
When a man gets really turned on, he can have an orgasm – in other words, he can come, or climax.
When you have an orgasm, your muscles contract and you ejaculate – a yellowish-white liquid comes out of your penis. Men often discover orgasms themselves when they start masturbating.
When a man comes while having intercourse, he usually stops moving back and forth. At this point it’s usually too sensitive to move. After an orgasm, the head of the penis – the glans – becomes very sensitive. It can be very uncomfortable if you touch it.
Women, on the other hand, often enjoy it if the movement goes on for a little while after they’ve had an orgasm.
Your entire body is one big sensitive spot! But it feels particularly nice when certain parts of your body are touched – these are called erogenous zones. In men, it’s the penis and testicles, especially the head of the penis. But your neck, arms, chest and buttocks are also sensitive.
Sometimes a man can reach orgasm too quickly during intercourse. This can be frustrating for you, and leave the woman feeling disappointed and unsatisfied. Both of you might feel that it was all over too soon.
Here are some tips to delay reaching a climax:
- Take a short break
- Switch your attention to other parts of your body
- Think about something other than sex
- Withdraw your penis from the vagina for a little while
- Squeeze the base of your penis underneath with your fingers
A man can’t have another orgasm straight away. A woman can – around 10 to 15 seconds after an orgasm her clitoris returns to its normal state.
Keeping in step
Do you find that you come more quickly than she does? That’s perfectly normal. Most men reach orgasm more quickly and easily than women.
A couple of tips to help keep in step with each other:
- Take time to build up your lovemaking. And ask your partner what she likes.
- Put her at ease so she can just let go and enjoy you touching her without always caressing you too. Show her that you also find it really arousing to see her enjoying your caresses.
Did you both have an orgasm at the same time? You’ve been lucky! Usually it’s not so easy to have a simultaneous orgasm. When you come, you’re usually thinking about yourself and not your partner.
If you manage to come at the same time it’s nice, but it can also be exciting to come one after the other. Then you can pay more attention to your partner and enjoy seeing them have an orgasm.
It’s nice to enjoy cuddling, caressing, and talking after making love. Afterplay is often particularly important for women.