Anal sex is a taboo in some societies, but there’s nothing wrong with it. It’s completely normal and healthy, as long as you use a condom. The anus and the area around it is very sensitive, so explore what feels good.
What feels good?
Some people enjoy having their anus stroked, or feeling a finger inside it. If you put your finger in your partner’s anus during sex, first moisten your finger with spit or lubricant. When you first touch it, the anus will squeeze tight – it’s a muscle reflex. Rest your finger on it and wait a little before you go any further.
Possibilities Touch your anus when you masturbate.
Stroke or caress your partner’s anus during lovemaking.
Put something in the anus – a finger, a penis, a vibrator.
Lick the anus – this is sometimes called ‘rimming’.
Press or caress the skin between the balls and the anus (the perineum).
Touching the prostate
In men, a little way inside the anus you can feel the prostate. This is one of the most sensitive parts of a man’s body. It’s about five centimetres inside the anus on the stomach side. Some men find it arousing to have their prostate touched. You can do this by putting your finger in the anus and moving it in and out.
The anus is close to the sexual organs. It also contains a lot of nerve endings, and it contracts when you have an orgasm. This is why anal sex feels good. Pain
Anal sex shouldn’t hurt. But if you’ve no experience with it, it can be painful. Use lubricant and relax during lovemaking, and the pain will go. If it’s painful when the penis enters the anus, pull it out carefully, because it can hurt even more if you do it quickly.
Many people like to include the anus in lovemaking. If you don’t, say so. You don’t have to like everything!
Step by step
The first time you have anal sex it can be scary and even painful. This usually passes when you have more experience, use enough lubricant, and feel relaxed.
Step by step 1. First touch and caress the anus, to get used to the feeling. If it feels good to your partner, you can put your finger inside the anus a little way and move it slowly back and forth.
2. Would you like to go further? You can put a small dildo or buttplug (a special dildo designed for the anus) inside, to get used to something that’s a bit bigger than a finger, but still smaller than a penis.
3. Both still happy about it and want to go further still? You can gently put the end of the penis in – use a condom and plenty of lubricant! Do it slowly and carefully so you can both get used to it. If it’s painful, take the penis out slowly. If you do it quickly, it can hurt even more.
4. Does this still feel good for both of you? Then the man can slowly push his penis deeper into the anus and increase the speed.